Articles by J

Or, How to remove cradle cap, as a side effect of an unrelated medical procedure

A few weeks ago, Simon completed a sleep study through OHSU. Now, while it didn’t actually occur at OHSU (but at the Marriott Residence Inn) or really involve that much sleep (for either Simon or me), it did get rid of most of his cradle cap, which makes bathtime much less gross now.

Simon was hooked up to about twenty different data collection wires, ten of which were on his head. On each spot on his scalp where a lead would go, the technician put a layer of salty conducting gel, then pasted the lead on with a white waxy putty, about an inch in diameter. I realize this sounds like an exaggeration, but it looked like his whole head was covered*.

First of all, it’s not quite as sweet to cuddle your child when his head is all full of goop, especially when your child especially enjoys rubbing his head back and forth repeatedly on your chest. It’s harder still to get up in the middle of the night to feed your screaming alien-looking baby with his goopy head nestled, unmoving, in the crook of your arm for fifteen or so minutes. Twice.  Just saying.

In the morning, the technician came in to unhook Simon from all his wires. He saved the head wires for last, gripping them about twelve inches from Simon’s head and giving a slow firm tug. All the leads glopped off, leaving ten blobs of wax putty, all entwined with his hair. I was told the best way to get them off was with a warm wet washcloth and scrubbing. Fifteen minutes and one very cranky red-scalped baby later, Simon’s cradle cap was nearly all gone, and has stayed gone. So yay — thank you, sleep technician!

*A brief derivation: Simon’s last known head circumference was 42.5 cm. Assuming his head is a perfect sphere, his head radius would be about 6.76 cm, and his craniofacial surface area about 575 square cm. Let’s assume that about 40% of that surface area is covered by hair (excluding the face and the part under the skull where the neck attaches) – that leaves 230 square cm of hair, which is about equal to 35.6 square inches. (Estimation check: is Simon’s hairy scalp about 6 inches by 6 inches? Sure…) Now, ten of these square inches are covered with goop: that’s about 28%. So not the entire scalp, but a good-sized portion to be sure.